Oct 28 2009
Who is misbehaving here?
Last Friday I got a parenting lesson from the book. I made all the wrong choices to get
my child on the verge of a tantrum and then threw him in. To get the things worst for me; in a public place.
In the morning we went to our monthly La Leche League meeting. As we had to take a bus back home I took the Little One in the sling. Also, I wanted to go to library that day to return books and I needed to buy some bread. After the meeting, which was couple of hours, I was deciding whether to go straight to the library and to shopping centre to buy the bread on our way home. Or go home buy the bread in nearby shop and save the trip to the library for afternoon. Suddenly one of my friends suggested she can take us to city center, from were I can decide which place to go. So we went. When we get to down town I just realised I am standing in front of a shop I wanted to go the other day but didn’t make it. So we went in and spent some time there. So far so good. We went to the bus stop and as we had to take different bus for library and different one for home I took a random choice. Which bus comes first there we’ll go.
The first one was for the library. From there it’s just 30 min walk home with short stop
by the shopping mall to buy the bread.
In the mall I just realised we were on the go for some time and we both needed some rest. I took Little One out from the sling to let him have a little freedom. We got to the
entrance of the grocery shop and there are two riding machines for babies. We had a short stop and I let Little One to play. After about five minutes other kids appeared. I took my chance and tried to get Little One to go. Now I was heading for a real trouble. Little One started to protest quite loudly as I was trying to get him out of there. I carried him into the store wiggling in my hands in attempt to escape from my grasp. I went straight to the part were the breads are and took the one I wanted. It just got to much for me and I stopped to put Little One into the sling again and head for the exit and home. He resisted. “Whatever” I said to myself and decided to just let him go for a minute there again and follow him as he run. I took my stuff and the next thing I saw, Little One was heading right into an aisle toward a cardboard box with several bottles of olive oil on the ground. The big 1 litter ones. He was taking one into his small hands. In the second I was next to him. The bottle was too heavy for him and a bit slippery. I tried to grab it but I was to slow. I saw in the slow motion the bottle falling down towards the ground. For a few second I lingered on the hope that it will not break when it hits the ground. It did! Instantly my left and Little Ones right foot were covered with olive oil. I heard clash as the glass broke and for a few seconds I heard nothing as if the whole mall stopped to look what had happened. I didn’t have a time to look around and feel embarrassed as I was trying to stop the Little One from exploring the glossy substance on the floor. I was trying to put him somewhere safe but we were surrounded with food in jars and as I held him I felt his urge to explore next available thing. I was trying to put myself together. I felt furious about the mess about our clothes and about Little One’s “misbehaviour”. I cleaned the excess olive oil from our shoes. At this point the Little One finally realised that this was too much and he agreed to get into the sling. I made it to the pay-point and out of the store.
Little one soon forgot about the mess he caused and started to reach for other things that captured his eyes. He started to protest against the sling again. As I was walking home determined and still angry, Little One hit me in my face with his protesting
hands. It hit me then; it was all my fault. He was innocent here and I was the one I
should be mad about. I drag him all day long from place to place, never staying long enough in one. He was tired, probably hungry and thirsty, and on top of that sick of being in the sling all the time. All he wanted was to explore and run around. He wanted to go home and play with his toys.
I stopped worry about our dirty clothes and shoes. I just wanted to lough. I felt sorry for Little One. I felt stupid. I made all the mistakes described by the parenting books and got upset by the outcome. I deserved it! When Little One started to run, he was really running from me. He was telling me: “Mummy, stop this madness and let’s go home!” Unfortunately as he was running for the cover, the box of olive oil got into his way and he stopped to explore. With the obvious outcome.
Ironically this all happened the day we discussed in LLL meeting, how important it is for
us mothers leave the To-Do list behind. Do each day one thing at most and especially when we have to do it with our children in tow. The only thing I can say to my defence is, that I was always bad in learning from someone else’s mistakes. I need to make my own mistakes to really get the message!
